Baby loss couple: We were told we’d picked a bad day to give birth
Baby Loss Couple: We Were Told We’d Picked a Bad Day to Give Birth
A Grief That Changed Everything
Baby loss couple – Lauryn McCready and her husband Andrew recount the moment their lives shifted dramatically, when they learned their newborn daughter, Lois, had passed away. “We were so excited,” Lauryn reflects, recalling the joy that once filled their lives. Their journey to parenthood had been marked by previous losses, with multiple miscarriages preceding this pregnancy. Despite the uncertainty, they chose to keep the gender of their baby a surprise, sharing the news with loved ones and preparing their home for the arrival of their child. But the excitement soon turned to heartbreak when complications during labor led to Lois’s stillbirth, a tragedy that left them grappling with profound grief.
“We were told we’d picked a bad day to give birth,” Lauryn says, her voice steady but tinged with emotion. The midwife’s words, delivered with what she calls an “off the cuff comment,” lingered in their minds like a haunting echo.
The Road to Stillbirth
The couple, based in Luton, had anticipated a relatively straightforward pregnancy after enduring years of miscarriages. Lauryn, a primary school teacher, and Andrew, a carpenter, had opted for an expected vaginal delivery, believing their plans would unfold without issue. “We didn’t have too much of a plan,” Lauryn admits, describing their confidence in the hospital’s care. However, as their due date approached, the reality of their situation began to unfold differently. More than a week past her due date, Lauryn arrived at Luton and Dunstable Hospital on the evening of September 4, 2023, with contractions that had begun two days prior. The maternity ward that night was already crowded, and the couple felt the weight of the environment as they prepared for what they thought would be a joyful moment.
Their anxiety grew as they waited in the triage unit for nearly 28 hours. During this time, they overheard conversations among staff about staffing shortages and a colleague who had not shown up for duty. “It felt like the whole system was under pressure,” Andrew recalls. The baby’s heartbeat was closely monitored, and repeated vaginal examinations revealed that labor was not progressing as expected. By the early hours of September 6, the situation had reached a critical point. Staff noticed a significant drop in the baby’s heart rate, and during a cervical check, Lauryn’s waters broke, marking the beginning of the final stretch of their journey.
The Critical Moments
After consulting with an obstetrician, Lauryn was moved to the labor ward, where a decision was made to proceed with a Category 1 caeserean section (C-Section). According to her medical records, a call was placed around 03:30 for the emergency procedure, which should have been completed within 30 minutes. However, the couple claims they were never made aware of this urgency, and the situation was later downgraded. “It was like the plan was just slipping away,” Lauryn says, struggling to recall the exact sequence of events.
Forty-five minutes after the initial call, the decision to deliver immediately was made. “Things went from zero to a hundred,” Andrew notes, describing the sudden shift in pace. Lauryn was swiftly taken into the operating theatre, where she felt a growing sense of unease. “Something wasn’t right,” she remembers, as the room fell silent until an alarm blared, signaling the arrival of medical teams. The moment Lois was born at 04:26 on September 6, the couple was met with a reality they had not prepared for: no heartbeat, no cry, just a baby who had not survived.
In the Operating Theatre
Lauryn’s experience in the theatre was a blur of emotions and confusion. “I have moments of remembering things,” she says, “but a lot is a blur.” The couple was left in the dark about the proceedings, unable to see Lois as she was delivered. Andrew describes the 25 minutes of resuscitation efforts as “feeling like 25 hours,” with each passing moment intensifying their fear. “The longer it went on, the hope was getting lower,” he says, his voice heavy with reflection. The decision to stop resuscitation was made after medics could no longer detect a heartbeat, a moment that left Lauryn screaming “No!” as she clung to the possibility of life.
“Lois was born, but she didn’t live,” Lauryn says, her words carrying the weight of loss. The couple’s heartbreak was compounded by the post mortem findings, which revealed Lois had died from a sudden and severe lack of oxygen to her vital organs. This was likely caused by her inhaling her first stool, with a bacterial infection accelerating the decline.
After the Loss
Following the birth, the McCreadys were taken back to a private room, where they could finally hold their daughter. “I just want to be like any other mum and baby,” Lauryn says, echoing the sentiment that had been on her mind during the critical hours. They spent four days in the hospital with Lois, cherishing every moment by bathing her, reading her books, and making casts of her hands and feet. Family members came to visit, offering comfort in the face of their devastation. Yet, the joy of those days was overshadowed by the knowledge that they would have to plan a funeral instead of celebrating a new life.
Their home, once filled with the anticipation of a baby’s arrival, now felt like a museum of memories. “It was a house full of baby things,” Lauryn says, “but now they just sat in her room, waiting for a future that would never come.” The couple’s grief was not just personal; it was a shared experience, as they became part of a larger narrative of stillbirths in England and Wales. That year, 2,341 stillbirths were recorded, each a story of heartbreak and questions about the care received.
A Call for Change
Today, the McCreadys have become advocates for improved maternity care, sharing their story with the Amos Inquiry—a national review tasked with examining the systems that led to their daughter’s loss. Their hope is that by exposing the challenges they faced, other families can avoid similar tragedies. “We want to ensure that no one else has to live this nightmare,” Andrew says, emphasizing the urgency of the inquiry. Their experience highlights the importance of clear communication, timely interventions, and the need for a more resilient healthcare system. As they reflect on the journey, they remain focused on the lessons learned and the future they now envision for other parents.
The couple’s account serves as a poignant reminder of the fragility of life and the critical moments that can determine its outcome. Their story, intertwined with the broader issue of stillbirths, underscores the emotional and physical toll of maternal care failures. By participating in the Amos Inquiry, they aim to contribute to a national conversation about how to prevent such losses and provide support for families in the wake of them. Their hope is that through their testimony, others can find solace and that the system will adapt to better serve those who entrust their lives to it.
As the McCreadys navigate the aftermath of their loss, they continue to carry the memory of Lois with them. “Every time I look at a baby, I think of her,” Lauryn says. Their journey, though marked by tragedy, has also become a source of strength, as they work to turn their grief into advocacy. The couple’s story is a testament to the resilience of love and the enduring impact of a stillbirth on those who experience it.