Becoming a mum left me incontinent – we need to talk about birth injuries
Becoming a Mum Left Me Incontinent – We Need to Talk About Birth Injuries
Becoming a mum left me incontinent – Geeta Nayar, a 47-year-old London resident, has been living with bowel incontinence for 17 years since the birth of her daughter. During a forceps delivery, she sustained a third-degree tear, which led to her first episode of incontinence shortly after. Despite the severity of her condition, she was sent home without any follow-up or support. This left her isolated, unable to work, and burdened by a deep sense of shame.
The Hidden Struggle of Birth Injuries
According to the British Journal of General Practice, approximately 20% of women experience bowel or anal incontinence, often as a result of childbirth-related injuries. For Geeta and Rhi, both from Wales, this issue has profoundly altered their lives. Rhi, 49, suffers from the same symptoms and has kept them secret from her children, fearing her son might feel responsible for the injury incurred during his birth.
“I suffered my first episode of total bowel incontinence the very next day, but I was discharged without any follow-up or support,” said Geeta. “From then ’til now I live with pain and incontinence, and that’s something that’s really not talked about widely – with women generally, and certainly within certain communities.”
Rhi’s experience mirrors Geeta’s. She described how the birth of her son 17 years ago left her with not only incontinence but also post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). “I still see that moment most days,” she shared. “I don’t have the same emotional reaction to it any more, but I will never have a nice memory of his birth, and that’s a horrible thing to say – and partly why I don’t want to tell him the whole story.”
A Lifelong Impact on Daily Life
Rhi’s symptoms began within 24 hours of giving birth. She was quickly referred to a community mental health team, where her condition was initially attributed to her mental state rather than a physical injury. “And so I walked away thinking: this is my new normal,” she explained. The pressure to maintain a facade of normalcy meant she planned every outing around the availability of toilets. “Probably 75% of them would end up in me having to get changed somewhere,” she noted. “At most I had 30 seconds ‘hold time’ before a poo. When you’re in town with your family and you need the toilet – time those 30 seconds and see where you get.”
Geeta’s situation was similarly challenging. She admitted that the shock of her injuries was both physical and psychological. “I knew having my first child would be life-changing, but the severity of my injuries meant I was ‘in complete shock – physically and psychologically,’ after giving birth,” she said. This led to her becoming “quite housebound to avoid the fear and the shame that comes with bowel incontinence.” Her career, which she had worked for nearly a decade, was lost as a result of her condition.
New Research and Support Efforts
Both women have welcomed recent initiatives in Wales that aim to raise awareness about birth injuries and identify the barriers women face when seeking help. These efforts, which involve collaboration with marginalised communities, are designed to ensure that more women like Geeta and Rhi receive the support they need. Rhi, who blogs anonymously under the name “A Mum from the ‘Diff,” also voluntarily runs the Masic Foundation support group in south Wales. She described the embarrassment of discussing such an intimate issue. “If it was a barrier for me, I can’t imagine what kind of barrier it is to other women who may have a very different cultural background or don’t speak English as a first language,” she said.
Rhi’s journey to recovery began five years ago with the implantation of a sacral nerve stimulation system. This device, placed under the skin, helps stimulate the nerves controlling the bowel. “I went from having accidents pretty much every day, through urgency, to only once a month,” she explained. While it’s not a miracle cure, she said it offers effective management of her condition.
The emotional toll of these injuries is profound. Rhi recalled how her young son noticed the change in her demeanor after the procedure. “Your eyes smile now and they didn’t smile before,” he told her. This moment highlighted the invisible battle many women face, often unnoticed by others despite its lasting impact.
Geeta and Rhi’s stories underscore a critical need for better education and support during and after childbirth. Their experiences reveal how societal stigma and lack of understanding can lead to long-term consequences, affecting not just physical health but also mental well-being and social interactions. By bringing these issues to light, the new research in Wales hopes to foster a more open conversation about birth injuries and encourage early intervention.
Healthcare professionals and policymakers must now address the gap in postnatal care. Many women are unaware of the risks associated with third-degree tears, including OASI, which can result in lifelong incontinence. The introduction of OASI care bundles in maternity units across Wales and England is a step in the right direction, but more needs to be done to ensure that all women receive the information and support they need to navigate this challenge.
Their personal accounts serve as a powerful reminder of the silent struggles faced by countless mothers. By sharing their experiences, Geeta and Rhi are helping to break the stigma and create a platform for others to speak out. This collective effort is essential in changing the narrative around birth injuries and ensuring that women are not left to deal with their condition in isolation.